Text Production Essay (Draft #1)
Published by MDMUAZZAM under on 7:31 PM
Topic: What are the potential effects of global warming in terms of climate change and how can they be arrested?
Global warming is a serious ecological issue that has many negative effects upon our environment. It is the rising of average temperature of Earth’s atmosphere due to green house gases that trap heat in the atmosphere. The greenhouse effect consists of gases such as carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide, and water vapor insulating the Earth’s surface and helping it maintain warm temperatures. However since there is so much carbon dioxide filling the air, the Earth atmosphere absorbs almost all of the suns emission causing the temperature to increase and consequently global warming.
The increase of carbon dioxide level each year is one of the factors that cause global warming. As the result, permafrost thawing, the glaciers and ice sheets around the world are melting everyday and the rising temperatures will also lead to frequent heat waves. Arctic and Antarctica, the two regions of the world experience faster impacts from global warming. Scientist expected that within the next 50 to 70 years, the ice cap will be completely gone.
Another affect of global warming is the increase in the ocean temperatures. When the oceans get warmer, stronger storms like hurricanes, typhoon and tornadoes will be formed because when the water temperature increases, the wind velocity and the moisture content also increases. Not only that, as oceans are heated, ocean’s water molecule will expand and this makes the sea level rise as the water takes up more volume. This could leave low-lying nations awash in seawater.
Besides that, another effect of global warming is it causes more precipitation, often coming in big storms. The evaporation off the oceans puts all the moisture up in the atmosphere and when storm conditions trigger the downpour, more of it falls down and may cause flood. It was stated in Mumbai, India on July 2005, 37 inches of rain in 24 hours the largest downpour that any city in India has ever received have caused a huge flood that killed almost 1000 people.
Global warming not only causes more flooding but also more droughts. One of the reasons of this is because global warming not only causes more precipitation worldwide but it also relocates the precipitation. Focus of all is on the Africa side where unbelievable tragedies have been unfolded there. Darfur and Niger were among of those tragedies and one of the factors that have been compounding them is the lack of rainfall and the increasing drought. Another factor of it is because global warming creates more evaporation off the oceans to seed the clouds but the problem comes when it sucks moisture out of the soil causing soil evaporation increases dramatically with higher temperatures.
There are many ways to overcome the problems caused by global warming. Firstly, to cut off the effect of global warming, we can start by cutting down the emissions of carbon dioxide to the atmosphere. Secondly, if we use more efficient electricity appliances such as energy-saving fluorescent lamps, we can reduce the global warming pollution that would otherwise be put into the atmosphere. If we use other end-use efficiency, higher mileage cars, environmental-friendly cars, renewable energy and technology, and carbon capture and sequestration, more and more global warming pollution can be reduced.
In general, global warming should be viewed as a serious problem. Global leaders and individuals must be concerned and step forward to solve this problem before it’s getting worse. If we cannot mitigate the potential effects now, regardless of the cost, then all of the species survival including us will be directly threatened by the consequences of our actions. We need to find a way to raise our living standards without destroying our own habitat. Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
Global warming is a serious ecological issue that has many negative effects upon our environment. It is the rising of average temperature of Earth’s atmosphere due to green house gases that trap heat in the atmosphere. The greenhouse effect consists of gases such as carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide, and water vapor insulating the Earth’s surface and helping it maintain warm temperatures. However since there is so much carbon dioxide filling the air, the Earth atmosphere absorbs almost all of the suns emission causing the temperature to increase and consequently global warming.
The increase of carbon dioxide level each year is one of the factors that cause global warming. As the result, permafrost thawing, the glaciers and ice sheets around the world are melting everyday and the rising temperatures will also lead to frequent heat waves. Arctic and Antarctica, the two regions of the world experience faster impacts from global warming. Scientist expected that within the next 50 to 70 years, the ice cap will be completely gone.
Another affect of global warming is the increase in the ocean temperatures. When the oceans get warmer, stronger storms like hurricanes, typhoon and tornadoes will be formed because when the water temperature increases, the wind velocity and the moisture content also increases. Not only that, as oceans are heated, ocean’s water molecule will expand and this makes the sea level rise as the water takes up more volume. This could leave low-lying nations awash in seawater.
Besides that, another effect of global warming is it causes more precipitation, often coming in big storms. The evaporation off the oceans puts all the moisture up in the atmosphere and when storm conditions trigger the downpour, more of it falls down and may cause flood. It was stated in Mumbai, India on July 2005, 37 inches of rain in 24 hours the largest downpour that any city in India has ever received have caused a huge flood that killed almost 1000 people.
Global warming not only causes more flooding but also more droughts. One of the reasons of this is because global warming not only causes more precipitation worldwide but it also relocates the precipitation. Focus of all is on the Africa side where unbelievable tragedies have been unfolded there. Darfur and Niger were among of those tragedies and one of the factors that have been compounding them is the lack of rainfall and the increasing drought. Another factor of it is because global warming creates more evaporation off the oceans to seed the clouds but the problem comes when it sucks moisture out of the soil causing soil evaporation increases dramatically with higher temperatures.
There are many ways to overcome the problems caused by global warming. Firstly, to cut off the effect of global warming, we can start by cutting down the emissions of carbon dioxide to the atmosphere. Secondly, if we use more efficient electricity appliances such as energy-saving fluorescent lamps, we can reduce the global warming pollution that would otherwise be put into the atmosphere. If we use other end-use efficiency, higher mileage cars, environmental-friendly cars, renewable energy and technology, and carbon capture and sequestration, more and more global warming pollution can be reduced.
In general, global warming should be viewed as a serious problem. Global leaders and individuals must be concerned and step forward to solve this problem before it’s getting worse. If we cannot mitigate the potential effects now, regardless of the cost, then all of the species survival including us will be directly threatened by the consequences of our actions. We need to find a way to raise our living standards without destroying our own habitat. Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
3 comments:
In my opinion this is a good essay.But in my opinion,the last paragraph which is the conclusion is too long.This will make you have less words to write for your point.Beside that,you should explain more on the prevention ways as it was included in the question.You also did not tell from whom or where you get the information.You should at least quote one of the information and tells whom said that fact.Thats all my comment about you essay.Hopefully you will comment to my essay as well. :)
thnx for the comment :D
1. Is there a clear introductory sentence that introduces the subject matter and the controlling idea? What do you suggest for improvement if the introductory sentence is not clear?
-I think the introductory sentence is clear and straight forward. Nice....
2. Is there a thesis statement given as the last sentence of the introductory paragraph? Is it clear and connected to all the topic sentences of the body paragraphs?
-emm, i think the thesis statement at the last sentence of the introductory paragraph is not there. I cant see which word at the last sentence stated the potential effects of the global warming. At the last sentence, the author only mentioned the sunlight absorbs by the atmosphere increases the temperature of the Earth, consequently leads to global warming. Maybe the author should mentioned more about the potential effect at the last sentence of the introductory paragraph so that his thesis statement is clearer.
3. Do the paragraphs have sufficient supporting details and examples? How can the organization be improved?
- I think his paragraphs are not organized well as the length of each paragraph is not distributed evenly. I think his second,and third body paragraphs are the same, the effect of global warming to the oceans. Maybe the author should included all the points into one paragraph. I think the author should included more explanations and examples of each point so that his essay will be more interesting.
4. Are there any paragraphs which are not supported well?
- So far, i cant see any of the paragraph that are not supported well. However, as i mentioned before, the author should included extra explanations.
5. Are there any sentences or sections that are not clear? If so, how can they be improved?
- At the second paragraph, i think it is not clearly stated. Maybe the author can say the increases of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere increases the temperature of the Earth as it is the effect from global warming. Beside that, i think your fourth paragraph is also not clearly stated. How the precipitate forms? I cant get the meaning.
6. Does the conclusion summarize all the main points given in the essay or restate the thesis statement? Is it clear? If not, how can the writer improve this part?
- No. He did not summarized all the main points at the last paragraph. Beside that,the author did not restated the thesis statement there. Maybe, i think at the last paragraph, the author can focus more to the point rather than the consequences of our own actions to reduce global warming. Focus more on thesis statement and summarize all the points that you have stated earlier in the conclusion part.
7. Does the writer cite the sources adequately and appropriately? Note any incorrect citation.
- I cant see any of citation in your essay. The author should cited whatever the sources that the author had get the information from.
8. Are there any apparent grammatical or spelling mistakes?
- I dont know much about grammar but i'll try.
"The increase of carbon dioxide level" should be "The increases of carbon dioxide level or the increasing of carbon dioxide level"
"affect of global warming" should be "effect of global warming".
"temperatures" > "temperature".
9. Does the writer comprehensively cover appropriate materials available from the standard sources? If no, what is missing?
- Nope. Because he did not included any citation, i dont know where he gets the information from.
10. Additional comments
- I think this essay is good. However, the author can improve more so that this essay will becomes more interesting. Hope that my comments will help the author to improve his essay. =)
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