Argumentative Essay : Effects of television viewing #Draft 1
Published by MDMUAZZAM under on 7:23 AM
Watching television is one of the famous and common daily routine of all time. Many of us spend our time mostly with television. Statistics show that the time spent on selected free time activities of full-time workers in year 2000 to 20001 are mostly on television viewing (Office for National Statistics 2004). There are few effects of television viewing and the effects can be either advantage of disadvantages to the viewer. In respond to the effects of television viewing, I strongly believe that it brings more negative effects than positive effects as it affects the development of thinking process, a time-wasting activity and lead to unhealthy lifestyle.
First and foremost, the side effect of television viewing is it affects the development of thinking process especially towards children (Sharif 1999). This is because, the viewing of unsuitable programs for long periods can influence their idea of life and behavior as pictured by the television programs as they are at a stage where their attitudes, beliefs and ideas about the world are in progress (Sharif 1999). Children may also become desensitized to violence depicted on television and imitating some poor behavior shown by characters in television show (Sharif 1999). The passive activity of television viewing could also restrict the development of imaginative skills which are important in developing problem-solving and organizational ability (Leigh 2001).
Besides that, another negative effect of television viewing is that it makes us difficult to concentrate on other activities such as homework or exercise (Leigh 2001). This time-wasting activity eats up the period that we have reserved for useful activities (Rutherford 2002). Based on an annual averages survey conducted in year 2003 of average hours per day spent in leisure and sports activities for the total population by selected characteristics, it is shown that most of the hours per day are wasted on television (American Time Use Survey 2003). It is also said that students who are heavy viewers are among the lowest achievers in academic (Leigh 2001).
Lastly, excessive viewing of television will also lead to unhealthy lifestyle. For instance, children are not physically active when they only spend prolonged period in front of the television (Sharif 1999). The situation become worsen when the sedentary activity indulged in with snacks which can cause obesity and related diseases (Rutherford 2002). Communication among family members will also be difficult when some families eat their meals while watching television (Rutherford 2002).
As a conclusion, watching television has many side effects and has to be avoided. These side effects affect the development of thinking process, a time-wasting activity and lead to unhealthy lifestyle. The blame is frequently directed to television.
First and foremost, the side effect of television viewing is it affects the development of thinking process especially towards children (Sharif 1999). This is because, the viewing of unsuitable programs for long periods can influence their idea of life and behavior as pictured by the television programs as they are at a stage where their attitudes, beliefs and ideas about the world are in progress (Sharif 1999). Children may also become desensitized to violence depicted on television and imitating some poor behavior shown by characters in television show (Sharif 1999). The passive activity of television viewing could also restrict the development of imaginative skills which are important in developing problem-solving and organizational ability (Leigh 2001).
Besides that, another negative effect of television viewing is that it makes us difficult to concentrate on other activities such as homework or exercise (Leigh 2001). This time-wasting activity eats up the period that we have reserved for useful activities (Rutherford 2002). Based on an annual averages survey conducted in year 2003 of average hours per day spent in leisure and sports activities for the total population by selected characteristics, it is shown that most of the hours per day are wasted on television (American Time Use Survey 2003). It is also said that students who are heavy viewers are among the lowest achievers in academic (Leigh 2001).
Lastly, excessive viewing of television will also lead to unhealthy lifestyle. For instance, children are not physically active when they only spend prolonged period in front of the television (Sharif 1999). The situation become worsen when the sedentary activity indulged in with snacks which can cause obesity and related diseases (Rutherford 2002). Communication among family members will also be difficult when some families eat their meals while watching television (Rutherford 2002).
As a conclusion, watching television has many side effects and has to be avoided. These side effects affect the development of thinking process, a time-wasting activity and lead to unhealthy lifestyle. The blame is frequently directed to television.
3 comments:
well, i'll try as best as i can to comment on your essay. for the first paragraph, the introductory sentence is ok. however, i think you should explain more on the effects of television viewing. you have stated the thesis statement which is nice. however, i think you didnt include sufficient supporting statements. i have seen some grammar errors in this paragraph. firstly, STATISTICS HAS SHOWN instead of 'statistics show'. then, it should be ADVANTAGES instead of advantage. other than that, 'and lead to' should be AND LEADS TO. you should include some transitions such as FURTHERMORE, THUS and etc so that your sentences will be connected.
For the second paragraph, the introductory part is ok. you have stated the effect of television viewing there. however, your second sentence is not clear for me. i cant understand what do you want to explain. you should separate the sentence as its too long. you have included sufficient information in this paragraph. however, you should make a conclusion at the end of this paragraph as it will make your paragraph stronger. for grammar mistakes, i have realized some of it. firstly, 'especially towards children' should be changed to ESPECIALLY TO THE CHILDREN. 'the passive..' should be THIS PASSIVE ACTIVITY. then, it should be RESTRICTS instead of 'restrict'. lastly, it should be INFLUENCES instead of 'influence'. you also didnt include transition words in this paragraph.
For the third paragraph, i think the introductory part is well sentenced. however, i think you should include more supporting details to support your paragraph. you also didnt make a conclusion at the of this paragraph. for grammar errors, 'it is shown' should be changed to IT HAS SHOWN. well, as i have mentioned earlier, you should include some transition words in this paragraph.
For the fourth paragraph, i think this paragraph is too short. you have mentioned the introductory part, however, there is insufficient supporting details there. include more information will make this paragraph even more interesting. emm, it should be 'IT LEADS' instead of 'it lead'. THIS SITUATION BECOME EVEN WORSE instead of 'this situation become worsen. well, i cant see any transition words in this paragraph as well. no conclusion for this paragraph too.
for conclusion part, again, this paragraph is too short. you have restated the effects of television viewing but again include some transition words so that the sentences can be connected together. you should restate your view on television viewing in this part. make me more confident with your essay. haha, for additional comments, this essay is well written. however, this essay can be improved. the citations made are correct and you have included information from the texts given. the language used can be understood. well done!! good effort!!!!=)
thnx 4 the comments :D
good job guys
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